Choking on the Apple

November 9, 2021 by

How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
-African Proverb

I watched my two year old eat an apple yesterday. She was given a slice and proceeded to stick the whole thing in her mouth. Didn’t work out too well and it ended up in my hand. Hmm.

Because she had been successful eating apples when given it whole, we went back to that method. She knew she couldn’t put that whole thing in her mouth and began consuming it, one bite at a time. She ate the whole thing. Interesting.

I have crazy big ideas. I have some pretty significant responsibilities. So do you. There are times when I have made a go at one of those enormous sized projects. I am so excited about the prospect that I try to tackle it all at once, only to choke on it and spit it out in the trash. Other times, the bigness of it all is undeniable and I convince myself that I am “not enough” for the job. These times I don’t even try. Either way, I get none of the apple.

Opportunities of condensed learning and inspiration can be like this too. Ever been to a seminar and tried to remodel your entire yard, kitchen, life, the next day? You’ve seen that the improvement works. Why not implement all of it in one big slice of a bite? Because you will choke and it will all end up in the trash.

Today I want to encourage you cut yourself some slack. Unless you have some really cool super powers I don’t know about, you are subject to the same laws of time and and physics as the rest of us. Time will not warp itself for you. Most often, one step at a time is the most effective. You are amazingly talented, incredibly capable and immensely deserving. Just move through the process, one delicious bite at a time.

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The Fear of Failure Creates Failure

November 2, 2021 by

“I don’t fear failure. I only fear the slowing up of the engine inside of me which is saying, “Keep going, someone must be on top, why not you?” “- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)

I am not crazy about failure. I am betting most of us aren’t. However, it has been my observation, at least with myself, that the fear of failure nearly always creates failure. However, the motivation to keep moving forward with a positive frame of mind will more likely bring about success. Interesting…

I had never heard of the movie Whale Rider until this week. As luck would have it, it was also playing on one of the movie channels. My husband and I watched as a little girl experienced both the love of a family and the ridicule of an ideology. She was sad, confused and hurt. Once, she almost gave up and left. Sometimes she cried and tried to understand the reasons. The entire time she held firm to who she was and the knowledge that she had a purpose only she could fulfill.

I remember turning to my husband and saying, “Can you imagine having that kind of inner strength?” I remember it because the thought has been lurking around since I said it. Why “imagine”? Why does the idea seem so lofty? Am I really so bent on approval that seeing that type of inner fortitude stuns me? Interesting…

Today I want to encourage you (and me) to take a quiet minute and consider your inner warrior. Remember that you are a powerful individual with the desire to move forward. You know who you are and what you are capable of – and if you don’t, I encourage you to commit to discovering those answers. Something tells me that type of strength, while amazing, is not out of reach.

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The Right Word, The Right Thought

October 26, 2021 by

“The difference between the almost right word & the right word is really a large matter–it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” -Mark Twain, (letter to George Bainton, 1888)

The hardest part about writing Turn Around Tuesday is finding the quote. (Note: If you have one you really like, feel free to send it to me!)

What it is about quotes that make them lasting, memorable, and recited? I think it’s the impact the words make on us as a person when we hear them. In that statement, we are allowed an “aha” moment. Recalling the words spoken later is an attempt to regain that moment. When it is successful, it enters into a different playing field – it becomes “a quote.”

Many times I go through my day and don’t realize all the words I put out there. Banter with friends, time with family, working with clients – there is a lot of information being passed around. Not all of it useful, most of it is good, occasionally it is careless.

The permanence of the word is realized when somebody else remembers yours for you. “Remember when you said…” That can be an powerful moment – hopefully in a good way.

We often overlook how much our words can mean to another person. Today, I make it my mission to find the right words. Not just to convey a thought, but to give back to someone else. Funny thing happens when we speak goodness to others – we get to keep a little of it for ourselves.

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Know Your Worth

October 19, 2021 by

To have that sense of one’s intrinsic worth… is potentially to have everything…
~Joan Didion

Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!
~Rocky Balboa (2006)

Self confidence is an interesting thing. If it is lacking, you have one set of problems. If you have it in abundance (regardless of its merit) you have others. There is a fine line of balance there. And, as difficult as this line may be to tread, it is a necessary introspection. There a few things that damage a relationship more than unbecoming behavior. And there is immeasurable damage done to oneself who has not learned to appreciate their own self worth.

The idea of self worth is one that cannot be taken lightly. In fact, I am learning that it is a topic that must be keep to the mind’s forefront. I amaze myself every time I allow an unfortunate, often trivial, event affect the whole of my mood – even when the vast amount of everything else is going fine. I appear to have a bit of company in this trait. It seems to be more common than ought that we allow ourselves, our moods, and our forward progression to be thwarted by obstacles of the sabotage kind. In truth, crappy stuff happens, we make mistakes, and we are subjected to the mistakes of others. That does not, in it self, describe, limit, or define our own self worth.

Self worth should also not be confused with self entitlement. Not one of us is guaranteed anything – not another day, another breath, another meal, another dream – nothing is guaranteed. We have our potential, our drive, our desire, and our right now. Those things are the raw materials with which we are granted the opportunity to create our best life. Should we under represent or employ any of these materials, our progress will be found wanting. It is not the disparaging nature in the world around us that have created this gap, but our own miscalculation of perception and utilization of our unique gifts.

Today I encourage you to know your worth – and don’t underestimate it. Protect it against the occurrences that inevitably pop up to undermine it. Appreciate its greatness. It is that worth that makes you capable of completing good works. Look for opportunities to make deposits into, grow, and nurture it. Remember, this is a valuable asset to you and your worth is an amazing resource. Use that worth towards efforts of good and be generous with it. It is in this generosity that this becomes one of our most valuable and effective renewable resources. And it is all in you.

Thanks for the coffee 🙂

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What Would Jimmy Buffett Do?

October 12, 2021 by

It takes no more time
to see the good side of life
than to see the bad.
~Jimmy Buffett
Tales from Margaritaville

I am a glass half full kinda girl. In fact, I am a “Woohoo! I gotta a glass with stuff in it and room for more stuff this is awesome!” kinda girl. Optimism, in my view, is an understatement for the possibilities in which to view life.

I am also, interestingly enough, prone to paralyzing fear and doubt. There are moments of “holy crap there is no way any thing I do will make sense, turn out, or save me from ruining the entire world as we know it.” Dramatic? Maybe. But completely accurate in describing the ninja in my head that tries to steal my half full glass.

When these two forces collide in my brain space, there is really only one thing to do – mix a margarita and consider the age old question, “What would Jimmy Buffett do?”

Okay, so I jest (a little). But the truth is perception, while not everything, is a monumental part of that thing. In each situation, there are always multiple views, angles and possibilities. We can choose to focus on the dire and the paralyzing. Or, we can choose to focus on the possible and the enriching. Now understand, while I am an optimist, I understand reality. I am not saying ignore the negative. I am saying that unproductive side shows are best kept in their proper perspective.

Today I encourage you exercise your influence over your perspective. Ask the questions, “Where is the good?” Understand that while it seems easier to see the bad, it actually takes more energy. Negativity is the biggest momentum killer I know. So, while it may take a bit more initial effort to find the positive opportunity, it will pay off in increased energy, creativity, and production. Plus, rumor has it that decreased stress will make you skinny. Who knows? I am just saying. At any rate, happy sure feels better than ticked off.

Thanks for the coffee (or the margarita),

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Beauty in Solitude, Company, Diversity and Dynamic

October 5, 2021 by
Colette

There are days when solitude is
a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom,
others when it is a bitter tonic,
and still others when it is a poison
that makes you beat your head against the wall.

~Colette

Okay all you introverts, hang with me through this first idea and I will get back to you on the second.

I am an extrovert. I will continue when the loud haws of feigned disbelief subside. It’s just the truth of it – I love talking, interacting, sharing, watching, knowing, being around people. I am fairly certain it is deep-rooted inside of my DNA.

I was in my 30’s before I even began to consider the benefits of occasionally choosing solitude. And there are many. It hasn’t been until very recently that I have been able to participate in this foreign art and enjoy its fruits. In this age of constant connectivity and information availability, even the introvert can constantly surround himself with people with minimal effort.

There is a lost appreciation (or in my case an unknown one) for that time you spend with that one person you need to know best – yourself. Developing an understanding of another person takes intention and focus with little distraction. Keeping in touch with your inner compass is no different.

Alrighty introverts, idea two. Because our preferences change and adjust from time to time, does not make a statement on our devotion or character. It is painful to watch a dynamic person continually attempt to keep themselves in a static box because of expectations – either from themselves or others. I find it amazing when folks who adore and celebrate diversity and eclecticism everywhere else fail to see the beauty of it in themselves.

Like to be alone today, with a whole gaggle tomorrow and a few close friends the day after that? Great – all normal. There is nothing wrong with a varying desire for interaction. It does not make you a loner, attention starved, elitist, unable to be by yourself, uncomfortable in your own skin, wishy washy, recluse – or any other label others attempt to put on you so they can feel more comfortable with the dynamic.

Today, I encourage you to take inventory of your own inner dialogue. Do you talk with yourself enough? Do you listen? Do you allow for the time you need to check in with your inner compass to ensure you are still tracking? Yes? Great. Move forward into your next interaction at whatever level that might be. No? Great (there is no judgement here). Consider if this is the best course of action. If it works, beautiful. If not, take that time for yourself and go ahead and decide upfront that you are not going to let other people’s perception of this move throw you off your game.

Thanks for the coffee…

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Save the Thinker, Save the World

September 28, 2021 by

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

– Mark Twain

Think about the last time you attended a conference, workshop, retreat, sermon – anything that challenged you to think in a big way and effect a positive change in your life. At the time, you felt profoundly altered. You might have made checklists, voice notes, game plans – whatever. You were just ready to make life better for yourself and those around you.

If you are like most of us, you probably didn’t even get to lunch on the first day before some small thinker starting poking holes and planting doubt. Next thing you know, you’ve convinced yourself that you were crazy to even think that big, the whole plan was ridiculous, you were never enough to begin with and you crawl back in your box. The small thinker feels very accomplished and the world loses out on the wonderful impact you had planned.

How frustrating! Why do people do that? More importantly, why do we let them? We have let a person we wouldn’t trust to organize a book shelf dictate what we are and aren’t capable of. Seriously?

The amazing thing is that, while this sabotage is occurring, you probably had multiple folks who are way cooler than that other flake encouraging you. They know that you are capable of all that and more. They look for ways to help and support. Most importantly, they believe in you and they tell you so.

Today I want to encourage you get back out of your box and dare the small thinker to poke holes. Commit before you come out that you will not allow the small thinker enough face time to give his less than helpful opinion. Instead, seek out your fellow warriors. You already know who they are. Accept their encouragement. Resist the urge to shrug off the compliment. Look for opportunities to return the favor. With all this greatness running around, the small thinker never gets a foot hold.

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Invincible Summer Within

September 21, 2021 by

In the depth of winter,

I finally learned that

within me there lay

an invincible summer.

Albert Camus

I almost hesitate to mention again what you already know. Times, they are a’changing – and these are some bumpy roads. You know it, I know it. It goes on all around us and regardless of what the ominous “they” try to tell us, we don’t know what is really going to happen next.

Albert Camus

I hesitate because honestly, who needs world wide circumstances to make for a difficult situation? Even in the best of times, we each experience challenges and heart break. There is little to be gained by blaming a circumstance or cycle. It takes nothing more than being human to guarantee the occurrence of strife and difficulty. We are not challenged because we live in these times. We are challenged because we live at all.

And we love to look at these challenges and tout, “Now we will see what we are made of!” And that is wonderful. A formed blade spends a great bit of time in the fire. And we take these obstacles and declare triumph at their conquering. The flag in the mountain peak. Thumb our nose at the valley. And our pride swells because we have been tested and found capable.

But in the throes of fear and anxiety, we forget the adrenaline of the start and the satisfaction of the finish. When the battle has waged longer than planned and the difficulties more than anticipated, the excitement of the sport wanes and our fragility becomes more apparent. It is in that exposure of our frailty that we experience doubt of success.

Today I encourage you know that regardless of the sensitivity of the fragility, the warrior within you is still invincible. Invincible. It cannot be broken – only sacrificed or abandoned. We have within each of us the perseverance to maintain, thrive even, in the most destitute of circumstances. Easy? Probably not. But possible. The way is often shrouded in overgrown brush and is hard to find and navigate. But it is there. The summer, the fire, that passion, is indeed invincible. Get your dancing shoes ready. We are going to need them.

Thanks for the coffee,

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Wishbone or Backbone

September 14, 2021 by

Stop wearing your wishbone
where your backbone ought to be.

~ Elizabeth Gilbert

Over a fantastic Mexican lunch, a girlfriend was telling me of folks she knew. They were “granola crunchers” – feel good spiritualists who relied heavily on good energy and positive thinking. They were mediators and crossed legged hummers.

“You probably wouldn’t like them,” she says between burrito bites.

After the initial surprise of her comment, I suppose I can concede how one might assume that. I tend to toe a hard line when it comes to personal responsibility and action. I also tend to harbor quite a bit of disdain for lack of either – mostly in myself, often with others.

However, there is also a strong case to be made for my equal appreciation of positive thought and intentional attitude. Few things start a day off better than a strong cup of coffee and positive mental focus. I also do, in fact, have an affinity for granola and those who crunch it.

However, hanging out all day with the coffee, in your pjs, without forward motion makes all that positive energy worth little more than the used up grounds in the pot. It would be more accurate to say that while I do not prefer one without the other (positive thought and forward action), if had to start with one, I would certainly choose the latter. But that’s just me.

Regardless of which comes first, the truth of the matter is that only your gumption to put in motion that which you think to be beneficial to the surroundings will bring about effectual change. With the exception of the small population that can move things with nothing more than their thoughts, the rest of us are bound to produce through sleeve rolling.

Today, I encourage you to crunch granola while hiking up the challenge mountain. Remember that while it has been correctly stated that hope is not an action plan, it can provide the motivation and inner fortitude to move towards that thing hoped for. But, we must stiffen that backbone and get to moving. No matter what. It is not the difficulty of the road we are walking that breaks our stride. It is the willingness to allow our stride to be broken that creates disaster.

Thanks for the coffee,

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A Day to Remember

September 7, 2021 by

“Are you guys ready? Let’s roll.”
– Todd Beamer (1968 – 2001), US Airlines Flight 93

I remember exactly where I was on September 11, 2001. I was teaching a group of new Navy Sailors how to be Electronic Technicians in Great Lakes, Illinois. My cell phone rang. I didn’t typically keep my phone on during instruction, but today was the exception as my husband was taking our daughter to the dentist for an involved visit.

“Baby!” I hear on the phone. “You are never going to believe what just happened.” The first plane had just hit.

I put the class on break and went to the faculty room. We were all around the television when the second plane hit. Not good.

By the time I had regained my class in the room, minor panic had taken hold. It was obvious the accident was intentional. What would be done about it was yet to be seen.

“Are they gonna let us out early?” The question from a young Sailor surprised me. Then I realized – they didn’t understand.

“No,” I replied. “In fact, we may double up the schedule to graduate you early. This is why you are here. This is when your job starts.”

A day to remember, to reflect, to honor. Not in a passive way. But in a “this is when my job starts” kind of way.

I considered not writing anything today. Considered the idea of blank space in honor of Saturday, September 11th. Decided that was a bad idea.

I don’t think that honor is given in blank spaces. Honor lives in the action of what we do next to build upon what they did first and on what others continue to do today.

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