Positive > Negative

Originally published in 1936, How to Win Friends & Influence People is one of the most timeless and iconic books of a lifetime, a book which has changed the lives of millions. If you crave the secrets to friendship and business influence, you’re about to be enlightened. Through the expert words of Dale Carnegie, remastered for this, the most digital of ages, be ready to have your eyes firmly opened. Success awaits!

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” Dale Carnegie

Day 12 of the 28 Day Self-Growth Plan
How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age by Dale Carnegie, Brent Cole

Another great pull. This book is on must “must read” list for anyone who enjoys the self-development genre of books. Carnegie is as relevant now as he was back then. This updated edition incorporates the digital component into the old practices.

It always surprises me the things that need to be said

  • Remove clothes BEFORE putting them in the wash
  • Wash your hands
  • Call your mom
  • Don’t be a dick

But evidently, even back in Dale Carnegie’s day, that last one was a thing.

We should shift the focus of our social media from aggressive and critical to positive and encouraging…We need to be more careful about what we post on social media. A bad post can come back to bite you in the future.

And more than just the future, let’s talk about right now. How long did that nasty post take to write? You coulda called your mom instead. My daughter came to me worried that people wouldn’t like her. I told her, “Baby girl, there are seven BILLION people on the planet. Somebody is not going to like you. Don’t worry about those people. I don’t have enough time in my day for all the people I LOVE, there’s no way I would waste time with people I don’t.”

And basically, that’s the entire premise of the book and as well it should be. Pay attention to the needs and feelings of others. Give credit where credit is due. Don’t be a mooch. Practice empathy. Be real. Be friendly. Admit when you’re wrong.

Don’t be a dick.

Like seriously, what’s the point?

Ok, so sometimes there’s a point. Sometimes I have the time and I feel okay about rolling in the mud just a bit. But I mean usually.

Look for the positive points in other people, rather than focusing on the negatives.

This is damn near the mantra of my life – except when it isn’t. And there are those times. Look, I am probably one of the most positive people around. I am also positive that sometimes I just get pissed off and in my feelings. It happens. Sometimes it’s justified, sometimes it isn’t. But 0 out of all the times I have decided to “speak first / think later” has the shit that come out of my mouth been the right thing to say. Sometimes it isn’t terrible, sometimes it’s even true, but it is never right.

We have all been there and will be there again. The world can get shitty, people can get peoplely, we can get irritable. I have worked super hard to create some tools for getting over myself so I can get out of my feelings and into the world of effectiveness.

I am the queen of the “get over yourself shower.” This one works amazing, but it really pisses me off when I need one right after I blow my hair out. I have a hella lot of hair and that shit takes a really long time. It usually lasts for a few days before I have to wash it. Anyway, the shower is private so I can cry, talk to myself, I can bring a drink with me, I turn the water on scalding, wash my hair, and just steam up the bathroom until my brain fog clears. It’s amazing.

Sometimes I also hold myself together pretty good with high caloric food, booze, and cardio. You just have to find what works for you.